So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
