he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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