brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
