Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
