Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
