I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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