is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
