How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
