He asked to "fluff my boner.."
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
