Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize