I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
