it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
