it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
