yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I am spending my child support on dildos
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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