fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
