You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
