she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
