I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
