just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
