It's Friday. Sex?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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