i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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