Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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