How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
