are you so shy because you have an std?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize