I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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