We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize