STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
