Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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