I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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