Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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