My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
