i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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