she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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