i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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