I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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