hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
