A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
the raccoons are back...
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