I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
