Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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