i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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