She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
