sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
