Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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