Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
