i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
