why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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