Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
