i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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