honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
