the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
