I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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