so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
