i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize