no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
