After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize