Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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