apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
