Buhtt sex?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
