Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
