I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
