You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
