I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
