you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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