From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
