there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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