you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
